Go and boil your bottoms!

‘Twas in what I believe is called the “vestry” at the Interfaith Chapel. The crew were getting ready for the Tuesday sit.
I spied upon the counter two halves of a coconut. Naturally, I grabbed them and, knocking them together in the famous way, began to ride about the room.
“Please,” I begged, “can we use these for kinhin tonight?”
I believe the Venerable was deep in thought, for he appeared not to have heard me, although he was looking directly at me.
Young Matheo asked, “How did they get here?”
“A swallow must have brought them,” I answered, naturally.
“What? A swallow carrying a coconut?” Matheo demanded.
“It could grip it by the husk!”
“It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut,” exclaimed Matheo.
“Well, it doesn’t matter,” said I. “We’d best set up the zendo.”
“Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?”
“Look, I have to make the tea.”
“Am I right?”
I was so pleased that young folks still value the classics.