Why do I practice with the Victoria Zen Centre? - Yushin Charles Rose

I think it's fairly common in life to do the things we think will make us happy and provide us with satisfaction. From an early age, my parents, grandparents, the media and friends told me the ways I should live my life in order to have the most satisfaction. Those ways had much to do with how the world sees success.

I remember my grandfather, on his 82nd birthday said (on camera) that it is our achievements that are the measure of our lives. He was an attorney (like his father) and had been the mayor of his town. His son had greater aspirations and became a US Congressman. Although my father had achieved much success in the eyes of the world, he rarely seemed happy, much less satisfied by life. In retirement he seems happiest when returning to his spiritual (Christian) roots.

So I set out to find success. My passion was technology and after a decade and a half of software development (which included writing two books on network technology), I started a company that served software authors. After selling the company several years later, I had achieved success in the eyes of the world. And yet, that success felt hollow. I was proud of the accomplishment and I relaxed in the freedom that the new resources provided, yet I wasn't satisfied. Deep down.

After a marriage that ended in divorce (my second), I began to face the fact that my relationship hadn't made me happy either. I questioned where this elusive happiness might exist, if, at all.

A friend brought me to UVic for a Zen sit, which in 2006 was at 7am on a Thursday. Not being a "morning person", I resisted the idea mightily. Nevertheless, I was desperately searching for answers and I wondered if Zen could provide a few.

In short, it has. Mostly in reminding me that happiness is not "out there," and that this moment is all there is. And that I have all I need right here, right now. I find that the sits on Tuesday at UVic and on Sunday in Sooke ultimately point me back to myself and remind me of the peace and wonder in this moment.

While we were on a 5-day retreat (Sesshin) in May, one of the most profound experiences for me was going outside one morning and realizing the beauty in nature all around me. Something I rarely take the time to fully appreciate. It felt overwhelming, like I had finally put glasses on and was seeing it for the first time.

The sits at the Zen Centre always provide three things for me: a place to practice being in the moment and discovering the gifts that are inevitably there, a teacher (Eshu) who brings me back to my self and a community to practice with and remind me that we are all in this journey together.

For me, the source of happiness and satisfaction is much different than what I was expecting. It's much simpler.