What is Sangha? - Sei-in Eric Jordan

Here is the answer for me:

I have just finished my first sesshin (May/07). It is the morning after the sesshin. We are gathered together for breakfast the next day. Sesshin had been a powerful experience for me and even though we had the opportunity to share our experiences the night before, I did not feel comfortable or ready to share. In the morning, I had a powerful dream and I felt that I needed to share my experiences with the group – I needed to break through a silence and give voice to a part of myself that I had kept locked away. So, I sat there during breakfast, feeling very nervous, knowing what I had to do, but being worried about doing it.

The conversation moved along quite quickly as everyone was very happy to be able to speak after a week in silence. Finally, everyone is done eating and there is a pause before we start clearing the table and getting ready to go. I know that it is now or never. If I am going to speak and share, I need to do it now. I ask the group to stop and wait. I say that there is something I want to share from my experience on sesshin.

Then I talk with the group about my experience of childhood sexual abuse. I talk about my guilt. My community sits there and listens with love in their hearts. I make eye contact and there are tears several people’s eyes. I can feel their support as I share something that I have almost never shared. I had tried talking about my abuse to a few people before, but it was a very negative experience and too painful to try repeating. Now, I am safe enough to try again and I get unconditional love and support as I share. This experience gave me the confidence to talk about my abuse. It gave me a solid foundation to think about when I am feeling hurt about my abuse. This has become the meaning of sangha to me.