SENSE RESTRAINT EXERCISE

Hello everyone,

At last night's sit I was asked if I could make the exercise of sense restraint that we do for the Fundamentals of Zen course at the Victoria Zen Centre. Here it is! Remember, just pick ONE and do it for a week.

Restraint of the Six Senses

Sight:
• Refrain from T.V., movies, video games, or unnecessary computer use.
• Refrain from unnecessary reading.
• Refrain from indulgence in visual pleasures in response to boredom, emotional strain, or comfort seeking.

Sound:
• Be conscious and make an effort to eliminate background noise (radio, T.V. etc)
• Become comfortable with silence.
• Refrain from engaging in frivolous or unnecessary chatter.
• Don’t indulge in eavesdropping or give ear to gossip or slander.
• Refrain from indulgence in auditory pleasures in response to boredom, emotional strain, or comfort seeking.

Smell:
• Refrain from using perfumes, strongly scented soaps or deodorants.
• Do not avoid or cover up unpleasant odours (bathrooms etc.)
• Be aware of the effect of the sense of smell on desire, ie. food, sexuality etc.
• Refrain from indulgence in olfactory pleasures in response to boredom, emotional strain, or comfort seeking.

Taste:
• Eat only at meal times (breakfast, lunch, and dinner) with only water at other times-no snacks.
• Eat simple foods, and do not indulge in overly rich, sweet, or heavy foods.
• Eat modestly at meals. Do not overeat to compensate for not snacking.
• Refrain from indulgence in taste pleasures in response to boredom, emotional strain, or comfort seeking.

Touch:
• Refrain from environmental comfort seeking, do not adjust the temperature unless you are ill or seriously at risk of becoming so.
• Practice letting go into hot and cold.
• Refrain from wearing or sleeping in luxurious fabrics (silk, velvet, fur, cashmere, angora etc)
• Abstain from masturbation.
• Refrain from indulgence in tactile pleasures in response to boredom, emotional strain, or comfort seeking.

Thought:
• Refrain from all intoxicants and stimulants (includes coffee, black or green tea {even decaffeinated}, caffeinated soda beverages, chocolate etc).
• Refrain from mental fantasy (ie. what I would do if I won the lotto).
• Refrain from mental indulgence in video games, reading, sexual thinking, and philosophical debate.
• Refrain from scenario building and negative thought indulgence.
• Refrain from indulgence in mental pleasures in response to boredom, emotional strain, or comfort seeking.

VZC Book Club

A few of us have been tossing around the idea of a book club. Just regular books, maybe some poetry, definitely NOT a zen study group.

Today we chose our first book! We're reading "Hardcore Zen". You can too. It's available to read on line here

Read it then come see the author. Brad Warner will be in Victoria from November 16-22nd. Stay tuned for event dates.

This new book club is a direct result of the fun we have had carpooling out to Sooke for Sunday sits at the zendo.

By rights this post could be about the fabulous talk Venerable Eshu gave today and I'll try to write about that later, maybe someone else (you guys know who you are) will give it a try in the mean time... Oh no! this is too cool, that's what all those monks said back in the day when they were asked to write a poem about the dharma...
(anonymous)

Random notes from last night's meeting

Dana, the practice of generosity.

Practising generosity helps balance our acquisitiveness. We are surrounded by a universe in balance that is all about giving and receiving. Think of a river: every moment receiving water, every moment giving it up.

Generosity is also a great teacher helping us understand our humanity - giving till you drop simply burdens your friends and family as they pick up the pieces. Or does it? it also gives them an opportunity to give and to grow.

Generosity isn't just about giving alms to the poor, handouts to street people, love to one's family and friends, a living wage to one's abbot. It may also be about pouring oneself completely and unreservedly into each moment.

Thank you Ven. Eshu. Thank you Dana group. Great food, heart felt sharing, enough money to support Ven. Eshu donated, a community creating a safe environment to explore and grow.

soshin

Reflections on Dana

Last week Ven. Eshu mailed out on the members' listserv an invitation to participate in the Dana group, which meets quarterly (next meeting Sept 30). As explained in that email, the idea for a Dana group arose during the Zen Centre's 2009 strategic planning sessions held last fall/winter and serves not only to help support the financial costs of the Zen Centre but also to provide, in Ven. Eshu's words, an "experiential investigation of Dana practice".

Ven. Eshu already covered in his email the origins of the Dana group and the function in terms of financial stability and sustainability for the Zen Centre. I thought I'd write a bit about my experience of the Dana meetings on the other aspect -- the opportunity to investigate Dana practice.

The main challenge in Dana practice for me has been around money. I grew up in a family affluent enough to never go hungry or worry about housing, but also in a political and cultural environment very conscious around poverty and inequality -- the "class struggle" was a phrase used with great frequency and many of my childhood memories are of protests, pickets, and union rallies. After moving out of my parents' place, there were a few short term jobs but for seven years I lived first off student loans and then on welfare. These were lean years where most months I ran out of money partway through the month so stole food or rooted through garbage bins for supermarket rejects to eat, came up with various scams to get reduced costs for basics like bus fare and used clothes/shoes, and often couch surfed when I couldn't make rent. Most months I asked people (mostly my family, but sometimes strangers) for help.

In my late twenties a friend told me about a job in a non-profit organization that valued life experience over other credentials, and so after years of unemployment I got a professional job at union wages. A couple years after that I lucked into a secretarial job at the university, where the wages were slightly better and the benefits far better. Since that time although I've sometimes had to scramble for work and have often been stressed about money, especially during periods of illness, I again consistently have a roof over my head and enough food to eat.

Now in 2009 our 2-person household is among the very rich by global standards. Last year we had a joint annual income of $42,180 after taxes, and we own a house. We have a joint bank account for joint expenses (the house, our animals, food) and also each have our own bank accounts for our individual expenses (clothes, donations, transportation, gifts, health care, etc.). Having proportionally scaled our contributions to the joint account to reflect the difference in our incomes, each month after putting money in to the joint account I have $415 to cover everything else. That money, like our joint money, is budgeted to the penny.

That's a lot of money but before starting Dana practice I often approached life as if I was still poor, with a lot of fear, anxiety, and also a lot of anger and judgment about people who have more money than we do. My basic position was that there was no way I could possibly afford to donate to the Zen Centre on top of the monthly membership fee and the small monthly amount I donate to the Zen Centre.

As always with practice in the Zen Centre, nobody guilt tripped or forced me into participating in the Dana group. People I greatly respect were part of it so I just got curious about it and decided to go, not planning to contribute any cash, just to see what it was like. The first meeting was at tax return time and shortly before going I did my tax return and realized I'd be getting around $300 back so pledged that money. For the next one I decided to experiment for a month with cutting everything out of my personal budget that wasn't absolutely necessary, to see how much I could scrape up for the Zen Centre -- figuring it would be just a few dollars at best as I didn't think I had many luxuries within my existing budget. I started with an inventory of all my financial assets (RRSP and savings account) and the details of my monthly budget, taking a hard look at what I really had vs. what I felt I had. As the month went along I experimented with eating less (as some of the financial stress comes from not being able to save for house repairs and other unexpected emergencies out of our joint account) and also did absolutely nothing social that cost money -- no going out for coffee or meals, renting movies, or any of the other occasional treats within my existing budget. To my surprise during that period I was offered a bit of freelance work on top of my job, and so over the course of three months was able to contribute $500 as part of the Dana group. I also during this time read a book by Peter Singer, "The Life You Can Save", which explores the morality of what people living in rich countries should be contributing to end dire poverty -- although I didn't agree with everything in the book it did, like the Dana group, provide the opportunity to see more clearly inconsistencies between my beliefs/values and my day to day actions relating to money.

Intrigued by the experience of the experiment with what could be cut and what I really could contribute, I decided to continue the one month experiment and use it as an opportunity to be completely honest about how much money I have and the choices I make in relation to money. This has required explaining to the people in my life that although I want to spend time with them I don't want to spend time doing things that cost money. Although people have mostly been supportive there have been some hurt feelings and eye-rolling with comments about "martyrdom" and "moral superiority".

For me this experiment with money has not been at all about moral superiority, although it has been about values. For many years I've talked about social justice and contributed a lot in various ways, but there have been inconsistencies and tendencies to selfish indulgences. The selfish tendencies are still there but I have been able to more clearly and honestly stand for what I believe in, and act in a way that is more consistent with those values. At the same time I've been able to see that my values are reflections of my day to day actions so have been less politically dogmatic about what my values should be, and more clear about how they're manifesting through my day to day life.

A side benefit of all of this has been the letting go of anxiety about money and coming to see that I am not still living on welfare. As part of being sick I spent $800 on health care, and cried and cried the day after paying those bills feeling that I had just blown my entire savings on something totally stupid and unnecessary. I did this even though I knew I'd be getting a gift from my grandfather that would cover those costs and really I was not going to be penniless as a result. As a slow learner in practice it takes a lot of these incidents to make a dint in these kinds of habitual reactions but it feels like the practice of being in the Dana group is steadily chipping away at it.

At the last Dana group meeting a parent talked about Dana as the kind of open-hearted generosity that is there when you respond to something your child needs. There is no thinking about doing this because it makes me a good person or because I should do it, the need is in front of you and you spontaneously respond in an appropriate way. Although I don't have children, that particular parent has been wonderfully generous in allowing me to spend time with her children and the feeling she talked about was something I had experienced with her kids -- an open hearted engagement.

Seeing when this feeling can be brought to other aspects of life, whether it's open hearted giving of money or time or attentive listening or something else, has been the practice for me in the last couple months. Buddhism hooked me so strongly at age 16 because life as suffering was easy for me to relate to. But in the last few months I've been seeing, in bits and pieces, the flip side -- the joy in life, and the possibility of connecting with that joy right now if I let go of "I" as a subject that the rest of the world revolves around and engage in genuine relationship with the world without concerns about what I look like and how I'll be perceived.

The picture at the top of this post reminded me of the experience of Dana as an activity that is an open-hearted exchange of joy. I've been the beggar in the picture, and I've been the giver in the picture as well. Asking for help, offering help, receiving help when it is offered -- all have been immeasurably enriched by the process of being in the Dana group. For anyone interested in checking it out I hope you'll come to the September meeting, and look forward to hearing what the experience has been like for other people engaged in this practice!

P.S. -- Before participating in the Dana group, the percentage of my income (from all sources -- work, gifts, tax refund, etc.) going to Dana was averaging around 10% -- now it's at 15%.

NICK AND SHELLEY HAVE A BABY

Member Nick Ruedy and his partner Shelley Dewar are thrilled to announce that at 10:12am on Tuesday September 8th, 2009 Shelley gave birth to a bouncing baby boy, who they have named Jasper. Weighing in at 8lbs. 11oz. he looks the picture of health. Here he is with his papa.

More on pain vs suffering

>By Soshin

It began at a recent family dinner - you know the kind - good food, good wine, laughs, family time. We were accidentally all home at the same time, and we all had the idea of some quality time together before our Fall plans take us in different directions...

Then, unexpectedly for me, wham, someone makes a pointed comment. I'm hurt. All the fun goes out of the evening. I retreat, start cleaning up. I feel the pain and think about Ven. Eshu's teaching, about Joshua's blog about pain and suffering. Where is the pain? in my chest. Who is feeling it? just for a moment the pain goes away. There's just space.

Then the pain is back, a tight ache in my chest that reaches up and pulls down the corners of my mouth, makes my eyes water. I retreat into a familiar set of responses, don't want to talk, feel hurt and right and self justified and very confused. The pain is familiar, the behaviour familiar, the goal to hurt back.

I think: just break the pattern.

I'm conscious that the Pain is in my chest and the Suffering is everything else: feelling inadequate as a parent, berating myself for being so stupid, wanting to niggle away at the pain like picking at a scab. I finish cleaning up, and start writing to try to gain some insight or at least perspective...

I realize that for this dinner I had an agenda of pure family fun and I also had mountains of unconscious baggage. The thing of it is that I'm not conscious of my unconscious baggage. I can feel it leading me by the nose, but don't have any kind of grip on it. In this case it took the form of a totally unrealistic ideal of family life.

This experience though somewhat brutal at the time has given me some clarity on a particular habit pattern, and a great incentive to sit sit sit!

Pain vs. suffering

In Buddhist books and talks there is often discussion of the distinction between pain -- physical sensations -- and suffering, how the mind experiences and reacts to those sensations.

In the last year I've had several opportunities to explore this teaching through illness and recovery from two surgeries. Each time I thought "Ah, I understand this teaching now, I've really grasped it", only to find that the next time around the same old mental whirlpool of self-pity, anger, fear, depression, and longing to collapse into helplessness without taking any responsibility for the situation.

Most recently I've been sick for a month or so, not able to do much other than eat, sleep, and sometimes work and do house chores -- not much sitting (and no zendo practice), no yoga, no volunteering other than the occasional email.

This has been a very interesting practice experience. The physical discomfort of the nausea and the pain is, objectively, not particularly intense but the suffering has been quite heavy at times. It often takes me a while to see what is going on and so it's only after four weeks or so that I can see that the main limitation to my usual day to day activities is not the physical sensation, but rather the suffering that my mind is creating around "being sick". At home, when there's a flareup of pain or nausea it's not a big deal -- I just walk around or lie down until it goes away. I know that Reese loves me and am not embarrassed to be myself around him, nausea/pain and all. In the world outside the house I am obsessed with what people think of me, swinging between the polar extremes of wanting to grit my teeth and work through the pain so that people are impressed with my toughness, and wanting to lie in a blubbering heap and have everyone give me "poor-poors" (poor, poor Josh). To my chagrin, not being a particularly tough person the blubbering heap side tends to predominate.

So the question then arises how to practice with these tendencies. Just observing them feels humiliating. I want to do something to change them so I'm not so embarrassed by myself. It struck me that one thing I could do was be honest on this blog about what is happening, both as a way of being accountable for my absence from the zendo and other VZC activities, and also as a way of acknowledging that this is not an exceptionally embarrassing or awful condition to be in -- it is part of being human. There's a reason why teachings about pain and suffering are fundamental! Thanks everyone for all that you do to help with practice in the parts of life that are difficult.

Vegetarian Dreams...?

Curious as to why I am a vegetarian? Or wondering how much impact one short dream can have in my life?

Once again, this isn't specifically about Buddhism, so I am just putting a link up here on the VZC newsletter:

http://sei-inremyjordan.blogspot.com/2009/08/dream-why-i-am-vegetarian.html

"Seeing is Believing" Tour

Hello My Zen Centre Friends,

I just finished a post on my experiences on a "Seeing is Believing" tour that I recently did of Vancouver's downtown Eastside. I didn't think that it made sense to post it on our newsletter (as it is not directly related to the VZC), but I did want to let folks know about it. If you are interested, you can find it here:

http://sei-inremyjordan.blogspot.com/2009/08/seeing-is-believing-tour-of-downtown.html

Sei-in

Sangha Sunday August 23 2009

Sangha Sunday August 23 2009
East Sooke Park (Aylard Farm)
10:00AM—2:00PM?

This month's Sangha Sunday will be held at the beach at the Aylard's Farm end of East Sooke Park. The idea is to enjoy the beach, the meadow and the forest together.

We won't be organizing any ambitious games, although we'll probably have a few fun group activities for those who want them.

• Bring picnic stuff. I still don't know if we'll be able to grill anything, so plan on bringing sandwiches or whatever for you and your family and friends, and maybe something to share with everyone if you feel so inclined. (I'm hoping to bring some Uminami Farm organic watermelon!)
• Bring beach stuff: buckets, balls, frisbees, sunblock... You know the kind of thing.
• If anyone has a beach volleyball set, please bring it. This is a perfect beach for that!
• We're leaving the ending time open. Stay for as long or as short a time as you wish.

• The sand at the Aylard Farm beach is perfect for incense bowls, so bring a container if you're in the market for that substance.

• There is a splendid meadow perfect for frisbee, catch, kite flying or just plain old-fashioned gamboling.

• There is a very pleasant hike to an ancient petroglyph. It takes about 30 minutes to get there from the beach. I've done this hike with my mother-in-law, who is in her eighties. But still, you should have sensible footwear if you want to go to the petroglyph. I wouldn't do it in flip flops.

While hiking in East Sooke park I have seen: Orcas, deer, sea lions, seals, otters, eagles, herons, myriad raccoons, squirrels, birds, and other small beings. I also once saw a fresh cougar track, but we won't be lucky enough to see one of those cats with all the racket we'll be making!

Just find your way to the parking lot at Aylard's Farm (a link to directions is below). Then head towards the beach. You can't miss it: It's right beside the ocean!

I'll be sending a PDF with more information and a map to all VZC members.
I look forward to seeing you there!
Please RSVP to seanholland@telus.net

Petroglyph photo
Directions to the park
http://www.eastsookepark.com/