I’ve recently been following the letters on Sweeping Zen about Abbot Eido Shimano’s sexual misconduct over the last 45 years (many people have been silent about this and other cases for a long time). A lot of attention is going to the issue of his misconduct and how his organization, the Zen Studies Society in New York, will be dealing with it.
While many teachers and abbots are rightly concerned about how Shimano is dealt with, and how those harmed by his behaviour can begin the healing process, it seems to me that individual sanghas could take this opportunity to talk about sexual violence, the abuse of the teacher/student relationship, and what it would take to never have this happen again.
I’m not condoning what Shimano did at all, but changing our culture of shame and secrecy would help empower the potential victims of this kind of abuse. If we create a sex-positive environment people might more clearly see when they are in danger of being abused or being abusive.
One of the really useful articles I’ve run into recently on this subject is ‘Real Sex Education’ by Cara Kulwicki (in an anthology Yes Means Yes! Visions of Sexual Power & a World Without Rape). According to Kulwicki the goal of real sex education is to teach people that sex should be “consensual and pleasurable”, and that we need to move from thinking ‘no means no’ to ‘yes means yes’. In other words we need to teach that “sex when someone doesn’t openly and enthusiastically want it is wrong.”
I hope you’ll read the article and then post a response here. What do you think? How does this apply to you and to our sangha if at all? How do you think we should break the silence?
Soshin
Please, please read the shimanoarchive.com completely.... The Shimano case is NOT at all just about sex. Sex is just one facet of a far broader set of unhealthy activities that Mr. Shimano has been enabled to perpetrate.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the heads up, Anonymous, of course there's more to it that needs to come to light. I'm choosing to open a VZC sangha discussion about the silence around sexual misconduct, and about empowering people.
ReplyDeleteSoshin
Soshin thanks so much for posting about this, and for providing the link to the article "Real Sex Education".
ReplyDeleteTo me there are two issues raised by your post -- how are we dealing with sexuality as individuals (in our personal lives as Zen practitioners, in our sangha, and in the broader community) and also how are we dealing with power issues (again in our personal lives, in our sangha, and in the broader community).
There is lots of meaty stuff we could explore in a practice context in terms of sexuality (wouldn't it be fascinating to have a "sexuality group" for those who care to share in a confidential setting what issues arise around practice and sex?) but what struck me about the "Real Sex Education" article is that enthusiastic "yes" to sex is not the only issue when it comes to healthy sexuality especially in a community context. Even with enthusiastically consenting partners sexual dynamics have the power to greatly influence the overall sangha. For example what happens in a sangha when an enthusiastically consenting student has sex with an enthusiastically consenting teacher? Does it make a difference if the student is initiating vs. the teacher? How do sanghas deal with sexual attraction and tension between practising members who are already in committed monogamous relationships?
In terms of power issues these can extend far beyond sexual abuse and include many kinds of overt coercion and manipulation as well as much more subtle kinds of pressures and influences whether about sex, money, etc. In our sangha there are power differentials not only between teacher and student but also between Board and employee, senior students and newer students, and between individual members from the broader social power structures like racism, classism, heterosexism, etc. and given this we have to continuously look at how we are dealing with power.
In terms of the collision between sexuality and power abuses as has happened in some sanghas, we are really fortunate in our sangha to have a teacher who is in a committed marriage, very aware of sexual abuses in other sanghas, supportive of a sexually diverse sangha, and encouraging of students to go into the interview room with eyes wide open. Between the students it also feels helpful that a lot of people in the sangha are in stable healthy partnerships and that there has been a lot of support for sangha members dealing with historical sexual abuse. I like the balance we have between a culture of open and frank discussion, and also respect for people's privacy and modesty. It always feels like I can talk about what is going on in my life or coming up in practice without feeling that people are prying into intimate details of my personal life.
Other thoughts?
P.S. As a side note, from a personal queer, transgender, and disability perspective in reading the article I was reminded that we have to have a broad view of bodies and sexuality and not make assumptions about what body parts exist, let alone and what options there are for exploring sexuality. Part of teaching real sex education would include teaching about the wonderfully diverse array of bodies people have and how to positively experience your body when there is so much stigma and shame about certain kinds of bodies in the dominant culture.
Soshin I just wrote a long comment about this but it was so long that Google wouldn't accept it. How's that for boundaries! :) Am definitely interesting in talking more about (1) healthy sexuality (in each of our lives as Zen practitioners, in the sangha, and in our interactions with the broader community) and also (2) power issues (again in our individual lives, in the sangha, and in the broader community). It doesn't feel like a burning issue in our sangha because we have a teacher and students who have set a positive strong tone around balancing frank and open discussion with respect for people's privacy and personal boundaries, but it takes attention to keep things that way.
ReplyDeleteLike the author I feel sex education needs to be sex positive, although was surprised she didn't include discussion about shame, stigma, and diversity of bodies as that is such a big part of the struggle many people experience in sexuality.